My
name is Sarah, I am the momma to six wonderfully amazing children.
Tommy and I met at the end of April this year via a dating site called
Plenty of Fish. Donna, my best friend of 23 years, set up a profile on
that site for me to show me that real men do in fact exist. Maybe I
should give a bit of a explaination......I am going to tell you this
story from my perspective.
First and Foremost, My children. My oldest son, J currently resides with his father by mutual decision. Though not easy, this decision was made with J's best interest at heart. Elij is the next in line, the oldest child in my home. Elij is a wonderfully smart and bright little boy who carries a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism. Then there is Wills. He is an amazing, caring little boy. and Dyls, My gorgeous, sweet little girl. The twins... Gibby and Marc are the youngest of my bunch. Gibby is a ray of sunshine. Always happy and Giggling over the smallest things. Marc is all boy. rough and tumble with the ability to cuddle up next to you and melt your heart with a smile within a second. I love my children, they are my life, my heart.
You see, Dann (my soon to be ex husband) and I had been together for 10 years. Over the last two and a half years, Life had been difficult to say the least. In December 2010, I had found e-mails that he and a female had been sending each other. In june2011, I found out that he had an affair, and then this past February, he came clean about having an ongoing affair with my one time friend, Margot. At the end of February, I discovered that Dann has been lying to me for quite some time. I found documentation buried in stacks of old moving records, from 2005 that he was the center of an investigation for rape/sodomy where he openly admitted to having an affair with another woman for quite some time. I had put my foot down last year, Dann and Margot were spending increasing amounts of time with each other, excluding me, and her husband. He wanted his wife, and the mistress? Lets not forget to fill you in on the way he treated his children and myself. His method of discipline was to shove the children over the arm of the sofa, or on their stomachs on the floor, grab a belt and start swinging. Wills and Elij were the most common victims of this. These two wonderful little boys would say they did something so their younger siblings wouln't get it from dear old dad. I stepped in when I was present. I am realizing now that I was absolutely scared of this mans actions. I was told that I could not get a job. I was made to feel worthless, and like I couldn't even survive without this man. He left for Ft Gordon, Georgia in January for reclass in the US Army. and made a choice in mid february that allowed me to finally have freedom. He chose to fess up the truth, and chose his mistress over his family. Enter Donna. My best friend decided to stay with me to help with sorting and packing.... She wittnessed a lot of what my soon to be ex has done. And then Enter Tommy. He and I began talking on POF, and really hit it off. He was there for me.
On April 26, I went and filed for sole physical custody of my children. The gentleman there kept saying that the information I was giving him on the children sounded very familiar. At my urging, He looked up my name, and discovered that my soon to be ex had already been there! Dann filed for visitation of all five children April 23. WHAT?!? This man had been in town and did not even attempt to see his children? We had a hearing set up for June 1. We had to move rather quickly, so I called the one person who was truly there for me. Tommy and I worked our butts off to move in three days, and to set up the new house for my babies. In the time that Tommy helped to move me, Donna, and my babies into a home in Petersburg, VA from Fort Lee, VA up to the time of the hearing, my soon to be ex did not call his children, and only saw them twice in my back yard, and once at the local park. Dann had called CPS numerous times since January and used those reports, which were unfounded by CPS, in court. The Judge granted HIM temporary custody of the youngest three children, and visitation was granted for the older two boys. I was not even given the chance to speak! The Guardian ad Litem was not even assigned yet! Dann was to pick up the children June 7 to move with them to Georgia. On the monday before he was to pick up the children, He walked onto my property and took my 99 Durango which was and still is considered marital property. He left me without a vehicle in which to transport our children to school, and for me to work. I am a driver for Dominos, I need a vehicle in which to work. But he didn't care about any of that. From that time until this past Friday, I did not get to see my three youngest children at all and the only way I could speak to my children was on speaker phone where he would tell them what they could or could not say. If I said anything or asked anything other than I love you and I miss you, and are you having fun, He would intrude on the conversation. Aug 3 was our last hearing, where visitation was court ordered.
From my perspective, This is a man who wants nothing more than to cut me from my youngest children's lives completely. He is trying to exhude his power, keep me under his thumb and show he is still in control. However, its not working, so he is hurting me the only way he can.... attack my heart. This is a person who doesn't even speak to my older two boys. And this s the only father that Wills knows.
The primary conern through all of this is my children. I want them to be happy. I want them to be taken care of, to know that they are safe. I want them to be loved, to be allowed to be children. To be able to live free of the fear that if they do something wrong, they'll be disciplined to the point of abuse. I may not live near my old hometown full of family, but we have forged a family and a support system here. I feel that my children are better benefitted living here with me. With care, support and love coming in the form of my best friend Donna, my boyfriend Tommy, my other best friend Carol, and with a Mommy who has always been there for them. I simply pray that the Guardian ad Litem sees this.
First and Foremost, My children. My oldest son, J currently resides with his father by mutual decision. Though not easy, this decision was made with J's best interest at heart. Elij is the next in line, the oldest child in my home. Elij is a wonderfully smart and bright little boy who carries a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism. Then there is Wills. He is an amazing, caring little boy. and Dyls, My gorgeous, sweet little girl. The twins... Gibby and Marc are the youngest of my bunch. Gibby is a ray of sunshine. Always happy and Giggling over the smallest things. Marc is all boy. rough and tumble with the ability to cuddle up next to you and melt your heart with a smile within a second. I love my children, they are my life, my heart.
You see, Dann (my soon to be ex husband) and I had been together for 10 years. Over the last two and a half years, Life had been difficult to say the least. In December 2010, I had found e-mails that he and a female had been sending each other. In june2011, I found out that he had an affair, and then this past February, he came clean about having an ongoing affair with my one time friend, Margot. At the end of February, I discovered that Dann has been lying to me for quite some time. I found documentation buried in stacks of old moving records, from 2005 that he was the center of an investigation for rape/sodomy where he openly admitted to having an affair with another woman for quite some time. I had put my foot down last year, Dann and Margot were spending increasing amounts of time with each other, excluding me, and her husband. He wanted his wife, and the mistress? Lets not forget to fill you in on the way he treated his children and myself. His method of discipline was to shove the children over the arm of the sofa, or on their stomachs on the floor, grab a belt and start swinging. Wills and Elij were the most common victims of this. These two wonderful little boys would say they did something so their younger siblings wouln't get it from dear old dad. I stepped in when I was present. I am realizing now that I was absolutely scared of this mans actions. I was told that I could not get a job. I was made to feel worthless, and like I couldn't even survive without this man. He left for Ft Gordon, Georgia in January for reclass in the US Army. and made a choice in mid february that allowed me to finally have freedom. He chose to fess up the truth, and chose his mistress over his family. Enter Donna. My best friend decided to stay with me to help with sorting and packing.... She wittnessed a lot of what my soon to be ex has done. And then Enter Tommy. He and I began talking on POF, and really hit it off. He was there for me.
On April 26, I went and filed for sole physical custody of my children. The gentleman there kept saying that the information I was giving him on the children sounded very familiar. At my urging, He looked up my name, and discovered that my soon to be ex had already been there! Dann filed for visitation of all five children April 23. WHAT?!? This man had been in town and did not even attempt to see his children? We had a hearing set up for June 1. We had to move rather quickly, so I called the one person who was truly there for me. Tommy and I worked our butts off to move in three days, and to set up the new house for my babies. In the time that Tommy helped to move me, Donna, and my babies into a home in Petersburg, VA from Fort Lee, VA up to the time of the hearing, my soon to be ex did not call his children, and only saw them twice in my back yard, and once at the local park. Dann had called CPS numerous times since January and used those reports, which were unfounded by CPS, in court. The Judge granted HIM temporary custody of the youngest three children, and visitation was granted for the older two boys. I was not even given the chance to speak! The Guardian ad Litem was not even assigned yet! Dann was to pick up the children June 7 to move with them to Georgia. On the monday before he was to pick up the children, He walked onto my property and took my 99 Durango which was and still is considered marital property. He left me without a vehicle in which to transport our children to school, and for me to work. I am a driver for Dominos, I need a vehicle in which to work. But he didn't care about any of that. From that time until this past Friday, I did not get to see my three youngest children at all and the only way I could speak to my children was on speaker phone where he would tell them what they could or could not say. If I said anything or asked anything other than I love you and I miss you, and are you having fun, He would intrude on the conversation. Aug 3 was our last hearing, where visitation was court ordered.
From my perspective, This is a man who wants nothing more than to cut me from my youngest children's lives completely. He is trying to exhude his power, keep me under his thumb and show he is still in control. However, its not working, so he is hurting me the only way he can.... attack my heart. This is a person who doesn't even speak to my older two boys. And this s the only father that Wills knows.
The primary conern through all of this is my children. I want them to be happy. I want them to be taken care of, to know that they are safe. I want them to be loved, to be allowed to be children. To be able to live free of the fear that if they do something wrong, they'll be disciplined to the point of abuse. I may not live near my old hometown full of family, but we have forged a family and a support system here. I feel that my children are better benefitted living here with me. With care, support and love coming in the form of my best friend Donna, my boyfriend Tommy, my other best friend Carol, and with a Mommy who has always been there for them. I simply pray that the Guardian ad Litem sees this.
No comments:
Post a Comment